


A Line in the Sand

by cienna



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 03:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13262679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cienna/pseuds/cienna
Summary: Bruce can't remember who Dick is, but that doesn't stop Dick from wanting him to.





	A Line in the Sand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [matan4il](https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/gifts).



> I'm so sorry this fic is late! Hope you enjoy and have a very Happy New Year!
> 
> AU loosely based on the amnesia arc beginning in Batman #40 (New 52), however it's not necessary to have read the arc in the comics to understand the fic.

Dick has never seen Bruce so happy.  He’s not himself and Dick knows he should be glad for him, but instead he hates it, and is angry at himself for hating it.  He wishes he could be more like Alfred who is protecting Bruce, protecting Bruce from his true self and thinking only of his best interests. Dick knows that what he is doing is selfish.

The worst part is, he can’t stop thinking about Bruce.  He makes up excuses to stay longer in Gotham.  He follows him to the rec center where Bruce works with kids and to his after-work errands.  He always stays just far enough away that Bruce doesn’t see him.  He hides in the shadows and lurks in alleyways.  It makes him feel less like himself and more like the criminals and dark creatures he usually fights.  It goes on longer than he intends.  But he underestimates Bruce’s powers of observation, even in his current state.

He’s trailing Bruce when he leaves work one day and Bruce turns to confront him.  He thought he had stayed a good distance behind, but Bruce is on him in a flash, looking at him suspiciously.  The fact that Bruce has noticed him at all makes him happier than he has any right to feel.

“Who are you?  Why are you following me?”  Bruce’s eyes flash accusingly and Dick hates himself for the thrill it sends through him.  What he’s doing is wrong. 

“I’m sorry,” he manages to get out.  “I shouldn’t be here.”  He turns to leave and the last thing he sees is the confused look on Bruce’s face, still visible in spite of the ridiculous beard.  A look that could almost be recognition if he deludes himself.

That should be the end of it.  Bruce has noticed him and that means he should leave. Get back to his work which he has been neglecting for far too long.  But he doesn’t.  Instead he is more careful, staying far enough away that Bruce doesn’t notice him.  Still searching for any tiny sign that Bruce remembers who he is. 

It doesn’t take long for Alfred to realize what is going on, and he is not happy.

“Why are you still here, Master Dick?”  Alfred’s tone is accusatory and Dick tries not to cringe.

“I just have a case I’m working on that requires me to stay in Gotham.  It shouldn’t take much longer.”

“And does your case also require you to follow Master Bruce to his place of employment?”

Clearly Bruce had told Alfred about the confrontation outside the rec center and it hadn’t taken much detective work to figure out it was him.  “That was an accident.  We just happened to be in the same place at the same time.”  Even Dick can tell how ridiculous that sounds.

“He noticed you.  If he noticed you, you were clearly following him.  And not even in disguise!”

Dick sighs. There is clearly no point in trying to mislead Alfred.  He knows Dick too well.  “I’m sorry,” he says.  “I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

Alfred’s voice softens.  “I know you’re worried about him, Master Dick.  But this is what’s best for him.  He’s so happy.  I’ve never seen him this happy.”

Dick tries not to think about how this regular life makes Bruce happy, a job working with children, a girlfriend, no more run-ins with criminal masterminds, and no Dick.

“That’s not who he is, Alfred.  You’re robbing him of his entire life.”

“I know this is hard for you, Master Dick.  But stop thinking of yourself and think of what’s best for him.”

Dick knows Alfred is right.  The world needs Batman.  But surely Bruce deserves to have some happiness after sacrificing everything for so long.

“You’re right,” he finally concedes.  “I’ll stay away from him.”

“Thank you, Master Dick,” Alfred says.  “I know you want what’s best for him too.”

And he does.  He really does. But he also wishes what’s best for Bruce also included himself.

***

Dick decides that he is going to leave Gotham.  He gathers his things and packs his bag in the cheap motel room he has been staying in.  He tries not to think about Bruce, about his face when he confronted Dick in the parking lot.  He’s sure that something inside Bruce had recognized him, even if it had been subconscious.  Dick can’t stop thinking about that moment.

He decides he’ll talk to Bruce one more time, just to determine if what he saw was real or if he is imagining things.  He doesn’t bother asking Alfred to set up a meeting.   Dick already knows that he will say no.

Dick waits for Bruce outside the rec center, knowing from his research that he usually leaves around five or six.  It’s cold outside, the kind of early October day that is grey and overcast, a chill in the air, and he can’t help but think that it suits his mood.

It’s almost seven when Bruce finally comes out, looking tired but happy.  Dick had considered leaving several times, but as soon as he sees Bruce he’s glad he decided to stay. Bruce recognizes him immediately and his expression turns wary.

“You again?  Are you going to tell me who you are this time?” he asks.

Dick makes eye contact but doesn’t move too close.  The old Bruce would never allow himself to be caught off guard in a parking lot like this.  He hesitates, unsure what to tell him.  You would think that after almost three hours of waiting in the cold he would have a better idea of what he wants to say.  But he’s honestly not sure what he is wanting out of this encounter.

“My name is Dick,” he finally says.  “Dick Grayson.”

Bruce doesn’t show any signs of recognizing the name.  “I take it you’re someone I knew before the accident?”

Dick nods slowly.  “What makes you think that?”

“I can tell you want something from me.  People who knew me before always want something.  They want me to recognize them.  To remember.  But I never do.  Sorry to disappoint you.” Bruce responds matter of factly as he looks Dick up and down, almost like he is sizing him up.

“I just thought,” Dick hesitates, “Do you want to get a drink?”  This is a bad idea.  But at the same time, he can’t stop himself.  And some hidden part of him says that if he let himself get this far there’s no point in stopping now.

Bruce doesn’t answer immediately, and Dick prays that he says no.  But he finally nods.  “I know a place near here.”

Dick doesn’t ask him anything about the place but just follows him silently, walking a few paces behind.  Bruce’s more relaxed clothes make him look approachable and strangely un-Bruce like.  Dick isn’t sure if he likes it.

The bar is an old hole in the wall that looks like it has seen better days.  The new Bruce looks too wholesome to fit in here, but clearly, he is a frequent customer because the bartender recognizes him and doesn’t even ask what he wants, just sets a glass of whiskey down in front of him.

Bruce turns to him.  “What do you want?”

“It doesn’t matter.  Whiskey is fine.”

Bruce makes small talk with the attractive bartender who then hands Dick his drink.  Dick takes a sip and cringes at the burning sensation. It sits like lead in his stomach, but he does appreciate the warming sensation, spreading from his stomach to the tips of his fingers, still chilled from his many hours outside.

“So, what is it you want to know?” Bruce asks.  “I know you’ve been following me around for a while, so you must know a lot about my current life.”

Dick doesn’t bother trying to deny it. “I know you’re happy,” he says.

“And you?” Bruce asks.  “Clearly you’re not happy with the way things are currently.  Believe me, you’re not the only one.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Dick admits.  “But for some reason I can’t just let it be.  I shouldn’t be here.”

They drink in silence for a few minutes.  Finally, Bruce asks, “Who were you? To me.”

“Just a friend,” Dick says as he stares down at his drink, unable to make eye contact.

Bruce snorts.  “Doesn’t seem like friend behavior.  Following me around for days on end.”

Dick finally turns to look at him.  “You were someone important to me.  You _are_ someone important.”

His sincerity seems to get through to Bruce and now the piercing gaze is back.  “Dick…”

“I shouldn’t be here,” Dick says, and almost knocks the drink over in his hurry to get up.  He throws some money on the counter and heads to the door.  Bruce doesn’t try to stop him.

***

The next day he is back at the rec center when Bruce comes out around six o’clock.  He doesn’t look surprised to see Dick and his expression is no longer suspicious.

“I just happened to be in the area,” Dick says, and Bruce doesn’t bother calling him out on the obvious lie.

“Drink?” Bruce asks, and Dick nods. 

They walk in silence again, but this time it’s somehow warmer, more familiar.  They end up at the same bar and the bartender is quick to give them their drinks, not bothering to ask what they want.  Dick nurses his while he waits for Bruce to speak.  Just sitting near Bruce shouldn’t make him this happy.

“So what do you do, Dick?” Bruce asks finally.

“Ah.  I can’t really talk about it.  But I used to be a police officer.”

“That must be how you got so good at tailing people and lurking in alleys,” Bruce responds.  “Were you in Gotham?”

“No.  In Bludhaven.  But I came here a lot.” 

“For any particular reason?” Bruce asks.

“Family,” Dick says finally and Bruce nods, not questioning him about it further.

“How do you like working at the rec center?” Dick asks, not wanting their conversation to be over, and listens as Bruce goes on about the rec center, telling him funny stories about the children, and about his work with Julie.  He is very enthusiastic and Dick tries to remember if he has ever heard Bruce sound like this before.  So happy and well balanced.  Almost like a normal person.

Finally, Bruce looks at his watch.  “It’s getting late.  I should probably get going.”

Dick nods.  “Your girlfriend?”

Bruce looks at him sharply.  “You clearly know a lot more about me than I know about you.  She left early today so she’ll probably be waiting up.  Want to walk with me back to the car?”

Dick doesn’t bother trying to deny his first statement.  “Yes.”  He swallows.  “Thanks for putting up with this.”  Bruce turns to look at him again and Dick wonders if he is imagining the connection he feels.  This is not _his_ Bruce.  This person doesn’t know him. 

“I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be,” Bruce says simply, and Dick doesn’t look away.  Bruce puts a hand on his shoulder that Dick’s sure is meant to be comforting.  He tries not to lean into the touch.  “I know you want me to remember.  But I don’t.  If there’s something you want me to know you’re going to have to fill me in.”

“I don’t think I can,” Dick says.  “But I wish I could.”  And he does.  Even if it means upsetting Bruce’s perfectly balanced happy life.  But he can’t bring himself to do that to him.  He’s clearly more like Alfred than he thought.

They leave the bar and start walking back towards the rec center.  Just as they’re starting to get close Bruce stops suddenly. 

“I thought of something I want to show you.  Do you mind taking a brief detour?” he asks.

Dick shakes his head.  “I’m not in any hurry.” 

Bruce leads him down an alley that opens onto a city park.  The architecture is impressive with gothic columns and a huge fountain in the middle.  It’s a full moon that night and it gives everything an eerie glow that only serves to make it more impressive.

“I take the kids here sometimes,” Bruce says.  “It’s even nicer in the summer when the fountain is running and the flowers are in bloom.”

“It’s really nice,” Dick agrees, still slightly confused about why Bruce brought him here, but happy to be next to Bruce’s side for a few minutes longer, even if he is prolonging the inevitable.

“Let’s just sit down for a minute,” Bruce says.  They sit down on a stone bench and Bruce turns to face him, expression suddenly turning serious.  “Dick, I want you to tell me the truth.  About my past.”

Dick feels his stomach drop.  “I can’t,” he says.  “Even if I tell you, it won’t make you remember.”

“But you want to tell me,” Bruce says.  “I know you do.  Isn’t that why you’ve been following me?”

“I do,” Dick confirms.  “But that doesn’t mean I can or should.”  In fact, his following Bruce has just confirmed more reasons as to why he shouldn’t.

“Who are you to me?” Bruce asks, and Dick draws a sharp breath.  He doesn’t even know how to answer that question.  Then Bruce touches his hand and just for an instant Dick is tempted to tell him everything.  “Were we… in a relationship?” Bruce asks more gently.

All the blood seems to rush to his head at once and Dick suddenly feels dizzy.  “It’s complicated,” he finally answers.  “I’m sorry that I can’t give you a real answer,” he adds and then is cut off when Bruce leans in to kiss him.  He is frozen in shock at first, but it doesn’t take long for him to respond.  His entire body is cold except for his lips which are warm where they are touching Bruce’s.  Every instinct in his body is telling him to grab hold of Bruce and pull him closer, to keep kissing him until Bruce remembers what they were to each other.  But before he can, Bruce abruptly releases him.

“I’m sorry,” Bruce says, still breathing heavily.  “That wasn’t fair to you.”

“Or to Julie,” Dick points out.

“Or to Julie,” Bruce agrees.  “I shouldn’t have done that.  There was just something about you that made me think…”

“You weren’t wrong,” Dick manages to get out.  “It wasn’t like that between us.  But I wanted it to be.”  It feels like a weight is lifted off his chest by finally admitting it. Even if he isn’t admitting it to _his_ Bruce.

“Dick,” Bruce still hasn’t let go of his hand.  “I’m so sorry.  I know I’m not who you want me to be, but I still don’t want you to leave.”

“I can’t really stay here any longer,” Dick admits.  I’ve been putting off work for weeks now while I follow you around.”

Bruce laughs.  “My own personal stalker.”

“I can’t deny that at this point,” Dick admits, smiling a little.

“Will you come back to Gotham?” Bruce asks.  “I would like to see you again.  And this time I promise to remember who you are.”

Dick nods.  “I’ll definitely be back.”  It’s not like he can stay away even if he wants to.  Bruce draws him in for a hug and Dick tries not to cling.  He’s wanted this for so long.  Finally, Bruce releases him.

His expression is gentle as he looks at Dick. “Thank you for coming to me.  Sometimes I get so caught up in my current life that I don’t think about what I’m missing or who might be missing me. I won’t make that mistake again.”

Dick swallows as suddenly his throat is feeling a little choked up.  “You’re welcome.  I promise I’ll come back again soon.”

Dick walks away from the park feeling lighter and freer than he has in weeks.  Ever since that horrible moment when he first heard what had happened to Bruce.  Batman might be gone forever, but he knows now that his Bruce is definitely still there, and he isn’t going anywhere.


End file.
